Taking a Big Sigh of Relief

This week was finals. It is difficult to explain what finals mean to anyone who has not experienced them, but to those that have I can now understand your pain.

There were sometimes this week where I just couldn't help it anymore. I cried like a baby. The tears just wouldn't stop coming and I could not help it. My roommates all looked at me with understanding in their eyes which made me cry more. (I seems that I cry for others also.) What makes finals so difficult is that you see several grades, in my case most were bad, in one week. Whoever thought that giving students one week to complete, in my case, 5 tests was insane. They must have been so smart that they did not understand the pressure that would be put on a less intelligent person.

I am so glad that I am finished now though. It feels like I can breath. I am not exaggerating. I would go into the test alright and by the time I had gotten to the 5th question I was gasping for air. I wasn't that the test was so hard necessarily, but that the pressure put on me as a student was almost to much to handle. Sometimes I wonder if I was really meant to come to college. I am just so glad that I can now look back on the experience and say "I am never letting that happen again, but it is over now and I did what i could." I have taken my big sigh of relief at being done. I can now enjoy my Christmas break:)

Choices

I just found out today that a girl who I have known since elementary is going to get married. Her family was strong in the Gospel and she knew from a small age what was right. She just graduated from high school and is going to marry the boy she dated all through high school. They are both 19.

It is so sad to me that people make choices like this. I know that we are all given our free agency for a reason, but sometimes I wonder how our Heavenly Father can stand to watch us make some of the decisions we do.

The other day I was walking to class and I was headed straight for a tree. I voiced this to my roommate Aubree who I was walking with and she said "No you aren't" as she gave me the slightest nudge to the right. Within 4 steps I was out of danger. It was one of those weird moments when you realize that even the slightest change in direction can lead you miles away from the destination you want.

I have often heard stories about plains, or ships and how if the calculations are off by 1/2 a degree the plain/ship will not reach the desired mark. I understood this mathematically, but I had never actually seen it until the other day.

One small choice and we will land in a foreign world where we can feel all alone. What a lonely way to live life. On the flip side, about a week ago I was at the store. I saw another friend who had never had a testimony of the Gospel. She was rebellious all through middle school and high school. I really wondered what would happen to her later in life. When I saw her she told me that she had turned her life around. She looked great, had that "glow" about her, and she told me that during the summer she came to know that the Gospel was true.

Small choices lead to big outcomes. I feel like telling all those who are going to make a dumb mistake in the next 5 seconds. "Don't do it. It is not only going to affect you!" I have seen whole families become inactive, children raised in hate filled homes, and relationships ruined because of one very small choice.

We have to remember that others will be affected by the choices we make.

Being Grateful

I love Thanksgiving. It is a time that is dedicated to gratitude. We are not given opportunities like that often. What a unique holiday we celebrate. I have often wondered why other countries do not have a holiday similar to ours. If every person on this planet spend just one day, even just 10 minutes, pondering on their many blessings our world would be so much better.

It was not until recently that I started to think about all of my blessings. I have a wonderful family (both immediate and extended) that I would not change for the world. Yesterday as we were all eating Thanksgiving dinner together I looked around and marveled at the thought that I am going to be with them forever. I had been listening to the radio a few days ago and the radio announcer said something to the effect of, "Thanksgiving is the one time a year we get together, and withing the first 30 minutes I remember why we only get together once." How sad is that? If I could I would be with my extended family all the time. I love them!

I am also grateful for the opportunity I have to go to a great school and learn. At first school was difficult and I felt that I was being cursed, but then I started to think of all those people that do not have the choice to go to school and what they would give up for just one day of learning. This made me realize that I need to make the most of my time in school. I am able to go to a class and listen to a professor teach day after day. What a blessing this is.

I am grateful for a warm bed to sleep in, a wonderful house to come home to, a dishwasher, microwave, stove, oven, running water, a toilet :), shower, washing machine and dryer, clothes that keep me warm, blankets, friends, family, school, food and so much more. What a blessed place we live in.

Procrastination

Have you ever told yourself "Next time will be different. I will stay ahead next time and I wont let myself get behind"? I seem to tell myself this every time I get done with a big project and then by the next week I am behind again.
Why do we tell ourselves that we will change next time? Is that not a form of procrastination? I am so sick of being behind in classes, it affects my whole life. I feel that because I am behind I can not see friends, which hurts my relationships, which in turn makes me feel so alone, causing me to feel sorry for myself and moping about instead of doing my assignment. Then I find myself even farther behind:(
It has taken me several years to realize what I need to change. Instead of saying that next time will be different, I need to say this time will be different. I can change now, I do not have to wait for the next time to change.
What a difference this realization has made. So...I am going to change this time. I am going to finish what I need to early rather than wait for the last day.

My First Blog

Well i succumbed to all the pressure. Just kidding I have just always wanted a blog and so I decided to make one:)

This week was so stressful. I never knew what people really meant by stress until college. In high school I always thought I knew what they meant, but who are we kidding...high school was a breeze.

I had two difficult tests, two papers that were over eight pages each, and an extensive project. When I told my family this I received in return "Why didn't you start earlier?" from my brother. He obviously does not understand that last week and the week before that were just as busy. I can't wait for the day when I can say "Why didn't you start earlier?" just to bug him.

I shouldn't complain. I love college and all of my roommates are amazing. They teach me so much more than my classes do. It is weird, but after a week we all felt like sisters. They call me the "mom" and according to others that title fits. I don't know if I should take it as a compliment or not...but yeah. There is one thing that bothers me though. My roommate won't let me listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. I guess that makes sense, but I just love Christmas so much.

I am so excited for Thanksgiving and having a huge dinner with my family, and being able to blast my Christmas music!

Seeing as my roommates and I decided to try on everyone else's clothes to see how much cuter they were than ours I now need to clean my room...