Saturday, January 31, 2009

Body Aches and Movies

I am sitting watching the movie The Italian Job for my humanities class. I have to analyse the movie and compare it to the play Hamlet. What an odd assignment and I am not sure how to go about doing it. We were only given an explanation that is a paragraph long and it is very vague.

I woke up this morning so tired and sore. I stayed up way too late last night talking to my roommates. Why do we do that? When we stay up so late all we do the next day is sit around, although I really like those days sometimes. I woke up and decided that I should do some homework so I came out on our couch and started to read. I don't know how much later it was, but I was having that dream where you can't open your eyes, you know the one where you are half asleep and half awake, but you are too tired to open your eyes. I don't remember what happened, but I got scared and my eyes flew open only to find that our kitchen blinds were open and I felt like I was being blinded.

I got up for a second time, closed the blinds, fixed myself some breakfast, and then got back to doing homework. I really hate that stuff! At 2:30 I finally decided that I needed to go shower and be clean so that at 3 I could go down and check our mailbox. My roommate and I take turns go down about every 30 minutes to see if the mailman has come because we both are waiting for a letter. The mailman comes at the weirdest time every day. It isn't like he has a schedule he follows so we are not able to say when he is coming. Neither of us got our letters today, but of course other people got letters who didn't even want them. Man I really wanted that letter!!

I have been sitting in a hard chair all day, I knew if I sat on the couch I would fall asleep again, and it has made my tailbone hurt. Trying to watch the movie on a hard chair has proven to be difficult. The movie feels like it has been going on for 7 hours rather than just the 1.5 that it has. I am even sitting on a pillow. Oh well I guess such is life.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Looking Back

The past two weeks have been a struggle for me. I have been wrestling with school, relationships, nerves, and finally my testimony.

Before I scare anyone I know that the church is true! I would be lost without it, but I have been struggling with what my part in the church is. We are always told that we can repent of anything we have done. Until the other day I did not understand that. I had seen people that had repented, but as we all know Satan tries to convince us that we are not able to. I was sitting in my Book of Mormon class when I realized I was included in the EVERYONE. Stupid I know, but that is where it hit me.

I decided that I wanted to feel truly clean. I did not want to go about life feeling half bright. I wanted to glow and when I walked down the halls I wanted people to know that I was changed.

The other night I was having a really hard time. I knew that Satan was trying to get to me again and tell me that I could not change, I was doomed. The feeling was overwhelming and I didn't know what to do. I called one of the most amazing people into my room and asked her for help. She closed the door behind her and the minute I opened my mouth she realized something was wrong. She enveloped me into her arms whispering words of comfort and support. I don't usually feel like a touchy-feely person, but at that exact moment the thing I needed most was to know that someone loved me and knew that I could change. I love that girl!!

She told me to kneel down to my Heavenly Father and ask Him for help. She said that He would always be there for me and that this was the time in which Satan was trying his hardest to make me slip up.

The minute she left my room I crawled onto my bed. I have prayed before, but I have never said a prayer like I said that night. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me do the things that needed to be done and asked for his loving arms to envelop me. Never before have I felt that I was being held by Him. I could literally feel his arms around me and could hear him telling me that everything was going to be alright. He loved me and would be there every step of the way.

I prayed for several minutes asking Him to stay with me. I cried and told my Heavenly Father how appreciative I was for His love and for the most precious gift anyone could ever be given. The Atonement.

I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and that when we need help He is there. He wants us to ask Him for help, but we have to ask. I am so grateful for the gospel and the blessings it brings to me.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Relaxing!!!

We all have to find that thing that makes us relax. I have many. Some of which are: playing the piano, singing, coloring in a coloring book, reading a good book, watching a good movie, and finally taking pictures and then manipulating them.

I don't know what it is about manipulating the pictures that makes me happy, it just does. I don't have a really good camera right now, but I am grateful for the one I have. It makes me so happy to capture a moment in time. The ability to go back later and remember exactly where I was standing or what was happening at that moment brings such joy. Taking pictures is also something I have found I can do relatively easily. I go outside and I only have to look around for a few seconds before I see something I really like and want to remember for the rest of my life.
I decided to post some of my favorite pictures so...




















That was only from 2 small folders:) Whoops.