Disappointment

You know when someone looks at you a certain way or says something and you just know that they are disappointed in you. Well whenever that happens to me I want to scream and cry and explain my side. You know that they don't have all the information. And usually you are already feeling bad about the situation. They don't have any reason to feel disappointment in you, at least I hope not. Anyways today I had this math test. I wasn't as prepared for it as I should have been, but given the circumstances that led up to the test I did my best. Well I did really badly on it. I was a little disappointed in myself, but looking back on the past two weeks I don't know that I would change anything if I were to do it all again. I learned in different areas. There were different classes that needed attending to and I am trying to work on my social skills :) Anyways I had told a few people about the test and they had all said something to the extent of "Oh man I am sorry. I hate tests like that. You will do better next time." You know what that did...it motivated me to do better next time. I went home to drop some things off quickly and my mom asked me how it went. I told her that it went badly. She said something like"I am sorry..." and then my dad cut in. He told me that it was because I wouldn't allow him to help me and then went on telling me that next time I better do better. Not a word of encouragement, just disappointment. Well dad now I just feel horrible. I feel like I have failed you in some way because for one math test in one math class in one semester of college I failed. So yep I must be a failure...only I don't want to be a failure!!! I want to be the person that does better the next math test because I was supported by those around me. I want to be able to miss a few questions on a test and not beat myself up about it. I want to be someone you are proud of! Alright I have decided what I am going to do. I am going to be the person that everybody else sees and just hope and pray that at some point that will be good enough for you. And for anybody out there that looks at people with disappointed eyes. STOP!!! It never helps the person it only hurts them.